Dreams of Fate
by Thorn on a Rose
Summary: Alone and in pain, Hotaru dreams of a love that just may become reality. WARNING: shoujoai content. Please Read and Review


Hello everyone! I'm back and with a new story…and the exciting thing is this one is a COMPLETE one-shot:) I'm so happy that I finally wrote something that I could finish relatively quick….this only took me two hours tops to write- so this is a little deviation from the original manga.

I hope everyone enjoys this little introspective piece!

**Disclaimer:** I do not own Sailor Moon….if only, if only.

ON WITH THE STORY!

Everything hurt.

Sharp shooting pain crawled through every nerve in my body, leaving behind a constant ache that has encompassed my life for so long. I can't quite remember a time when it wasn't painful to breathe…painful to move…painful to be alive.

All I know is the pain and the darkness that surrounds me…that is inside me, trying to devour the rest of the girl named Hotaru Tomoe that has survived in me.

Yes, that is me, Hotaru Tomoe, or that is what I call myself…I don't know if I'm even human anymore with my body being half robotic and the times I fell another presence, a dark presence, inside me sometimes taking control.

I try to tell Papa but he just says that this fear is from the pain and traumatic events from the accident.

Papa…isn't the one I knew as Papa before the accident…such cold hands…cold eyes that look at me not with warmth, compassion, and love as they used to but with an empty, frigid, calculating stare as if…Papa is no longer Papa.

That's too scary to think about right now and Papa is the one trying to keep me alive and nursing me back to health, so I shouldn't be thinking these things.

Yet, some days, when the pain is so unbearable, I find myself wishing he would just let me go. Let me go so I can rest and get away from the dark.

But I find that I can't let _myself_ go and I hang on…for what reason, I don't know. I don't know what could possibly be worth all this pain to make me wait for it. To make me search for it. Wish for it.

My mind is telling me to let go and escape the pain but my heart and soul stubbornly cling to that slender thread keeping me here in the land of the living, waiting for that one thing to come along to fill in the emptiness they feel and drive away the darkness threatening to take control.

Sometimes I feel this thing drawing closer, bringing a warmth to my chest…only to feel it draw away again, leaving me crying at the absence of the light that I caught a glimpse of. At those instances, my heart desperately calls out a name and my soul echoes that name, longing to feel that presence again and bathe in its light.

But no matter how many times I hear the calls, I can't make out the name. All I know is that this thing that keeps me here occasionally appears in my dreams.

Not in the dreams of darkness and destruction at my own hands, nor the dreams of loneliness in the silence…but in my most treasured dreams of a beautiful forest clearing lit by the light of the full moon with millions of stars twinkling in the night sky.

I am sitting at the edge of a small pond in the middle of the clearing waiting for someone…someone incredibly special to me. I can see my reflection in the still, crystal clear water. I'm older and more developed with an amethyst dress clinging to my form.

Fireflies dance around the crown of violets woven into my raven dark hair. My eyes now have a light inside that is absent from in me now, yet they retain the cold bleakness and hard apathy that I know I am capable of. Over all of those aspects I see in my eyes, experience of life tempers my gaze the most: pain and pleasure, joy and sorrow.

Suddenly a noise brings my attention up and to the opposite side of the pond.

As if born of the moonlight, a slender figure steps silently on the soft grass, coming towards me. I can see my eyes light with an inner fire as I catch hold of the beautiful vision. My heart races and jumps ahead and my breathing becomes shallow and quick making my chest heave with every intake. A warmth as I have never felt before settles in my chest and moves to the rest of my body and I glow with an amethyst light.

The figure glides forward, smiling sweetly at me with a shining face full of love…for ME! Silver caresses this being and all I can make out clearly is that this is a girl roughly my age but lighter of color with eyes full of laughter, love, and light. Gentle hands pull me into a warm embrace ridding me of the cold I usually feel. A soft, happy voice whispers love into my ears and soft, sweet lips rain kisses on my face.

I feel a need to return these feelings to this precious person who makes me feel what I never have before, so I tighten my embrace, bringing her closer to me and whisper of my love and loyalty to her while kissing her silky skin and lush pink lips.

Pulling back, I still can't make out her features clearly and I feel myself start to awaken and being dragged away from her, the one that completes me. Her eyes turn a little sad and I want to do everything in my power to wipe away that look, that feeling from her eyes; but I am being drawn away form her and I can't move back towards the beautiful woman no matter how hard I try.

Nor can she move towards me and we lock eyes, drinking in the love we share for each other. As her form fades and the forest disappears, her voice floats to me, giving me the will to continue on until I finally meet her in the waking world.

"I will be by your side soon, so please with for me Hotaru, Sailor Saturn…my love."

As everything turns black, I whisper back, knowing she will hear me…hear my heart.

"I will wait an eternity for you…my Princess."

I awaken to the pain coursing through my body and weep a little bit that my dream is not my reality. Yet, just thinking about **her** gives me strength and my pain recedes. I feel well enough to go outside for the day and maybe well enough for school.

I have been absent for the past week due to my illness, not that school mattered to me anyway and I would rather stay at home than go there, but for some reason I **have** to go to Mugen today.

My soul and heart push me this day so I prepare myself for the day ahead secretly wishing in my heart of hearts that I would meet the silver girl again.

But, by the end of the school day my heart falters and my soul cries in disappointment and I collapse on my way to Papa's lab to tell him I'm going home.

It hurts…I can't breathe and my body can't move. I cough and clutch my chest, screaming inside for my Princess to come and save me…love me.

A gentle had calms my breathing, warms my cold body and a soft worried voice sooths my soul…yet, makes my heart jump for joy as I look into loving ruby crimson eyes.

"Are you all right?"

Before I faint away from the illness, I smiled the first real smile I ever remember smiling after the accident that should have left me for dead, and whispered so softly in answer I don't' believe this pink haired little angel hear me…maybe **_I _**didn't hear me for it could have been another me who replied with a voice overflowing with love.

"I am now my Princess…my lovely Moon Goddess…Small Lady Serenity."

Well, that's DONE! I pretty proud of myself, this turned out to be a cool little story:)

As some of you may have read above, this is my take on the meeting between ChibiUsa and Hotaru in the manga. I did, however, alter the ending and instead of ChibiUsa and Usagi fighting a youma, they just find Hotaru and take her to their home to nurse her back to health so she can go home…ect, ect. So no flaming me because I didn't follow the storyline…this is **fanfiction** which means I have license to be creative!

Anyway, I hope you all enjoyed this and I ask (more like beg shamelessly) for reviews! I love hearing from everyone, it makes my day brighter:)

Until my next story!

ToaR


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